The rising tide

America is in a shambles out sourcing jobs has crippled the manufacturing capacity of the United States, the once mighty auto industry is on life support, and American debt is at its highest average ever. In the age of globalization American economic stability is flirting with disaster and positioing itself for extinction. Even the entertainment industry, which was once considered recession proof, has begun to scale back and streamline expenses to remain profitable. The entertainment industry is America's greatest natural resource and it is this valuable asset that can turn the tide of economic disaster that has fallen over this great land.

Here is a three tier program to utilize several famous assets to bail out America.

First, due to the high number of threats against the incoming President, Brock Lesner will be made the head of the Secret Service. When an individual makes an attempt to assasinate the President, they will be captured and taken to a boxing ring at Guantanamo Bay where he will recieve an Ultimate beat down by Lesner, this event will be broadcast on payperview with the profits going to give tax breaks.

Second, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will both be placed in charge of the CIA, where they will systematically slam every spy in the world. No spy will be able to resist possibility of sexual
intercourse with Branjolina, and therefore they will be willing to give up any secret for those services. We may have to hire John Travolta to fill in the gaps with the gay spy's. Once the bounty on Osama Bin Laden's head includes a twitter with Angelinas bird, he will be sitting in Sing Sing inside of 48 hours.

Third, the most important issue facing Americans today is energy independence, which is why the United States must make a lease available to drill into Rosie Odonnell, it has been estimated that drilling in her chin fat could produce nearly 10billion barrels per day, this would nearly offset nearly half of Al Gore's mansions energy consumption. Bisquick is currently bidding to build a pipeline to extract pancake batter from her groin folds, which could mean nearly 7 billion in new breakfast taxes. It has estimated that full exploitation of Rosies "Fattural"(TM) resources could offset Social Security debt beyond 2075.

This plan will satisfy all of America's security and economic needs for the rest of the future.