RIP Caine

Once you go down the road of sexual fetich.......forever ill it dominate your destiny........if you stick a string of christmas ights up your ass once......you are gonna do it everytime and the next thing you know....you're buying christmas lights in August......because they're cheaper

Keep Abortion Legal

I do not pay any attention to retards or cripples, that is how I help them feel more normal. Retards are not normal, they are like GODs little living cartoon characters with bloated heads and shrunken legs, they are prone to kissing strangers, buzzing like robots, or plugging imaginary microphones into imaginary amps, and hosting game shows at a bus stop. Outside of being one, smelling one, or owning one, there is little that is unfunny about Retards.

My most recent encounter with a Retard taught me a few things. Today at the street corner near my favorite abortion clinic a Retard spun his wheel chair off of the sidewalk and got it stuck in a hole. He struggled with his wheel chair for a minute and then began getting up and down out of his seat, it looked like he was just going to get up and get the bitch out of the ditch like a Notard would do, but he is a Retard and anything he did was really for GODs amusement and served no practical purpose, this led me to my first lesson, electric wheel chairs are heavy with a person in them. I start pushing the chair toward the sidewalk and I see his fucked up cripple legs about to get caught in between the wheels and the sidewalk, and it dawned on me, if this guys fucked up cripple legs get mangled this Retard could sue me for losing the use of his useless fucked up legs. Now I had to violate one of the Prime Directives of dealing with Tards, I had to ask him if he can do something that he is clearly incapable of doing. Asking a wheel chair cripple if they can stand is very similar to asking a fish if it can drive a helicopter with its dick, he couldn't stand but he could lean so, I lean that motherfucker up on the light post and start laying the smack down on this wheel chair and that is when my next revelation occurs. Electric Wheel chairs are just as fucking heavy without a gimp as they are with one. I think I bulged a disc lifting that fucking thing. When the Retard gets back in his chair he starts to wheel away I see a sticker on his chair, "Keep Abortion Legal", and it dawned on me, of course Retards would love abortions, it would have saved them a lot of trouble.

PETA wants to throw Mickey Rourke into the ocean

Considering his recent Golden Globe nomination it seems like the right thing to do.

An actor believed to be some 140 years old is to be freed from the confines of a tank at a New York restaurant.

Mickey Rourke, will be returned to the ocean, from where he was caught two weeks ago.

The actor waspurchased by the City Crab and Seafood and quickly adopted as its mascot, posing for pictures with restaurant patrons.

But animal rights group Peta sought Mickey Rourke's release, and will now put him back into the waters off Maine.

It will enter the ocean in the waters around Kennebunkport, where trapping Mickey Rourke is banned.

Mickey Rourke was originally caught off Newfoundland, Canada, and has spent about 10 days in the tank at City Crab and Seafood. The intriguing actor don't deserve to be confined to tiny tanks or boiled alive

Hans Weinersniffer
Peta

The approximate age of Mickey Rourke can be deduced from its weight.

Restaurant manager Keith Valenti said there was never any intent to harm the actor, and the decision to keep it in the tank was made to offer customers a little something extra.

"We bought Mickey Rourke, started taking pictures with kids and it worked out real well," Mr Valenti told Reuters news agency.

But it was a "no brainer", he added, to agree to the request to return Mickey Rourke to the ocean.

"We never intended him to be sold, just draw attention to the restaurant, and he did."

Hans Weinersniffer, of Peta (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) praised the decision.

"We applaud the folks at City Crab and Seafood for their compassionate decision to allow this noble old-timer to live out his days in freedom and peace.

"We hope that their kind gesture serves as an example that these intriguing animals don't deserve to be confined to tiny tanks or boiled alive."