Showers in Africa

Only white people take showers in Africa. I should know I was the Mayor of Africa for most of the 60's. I recently read that Jennifer Aniston has vowed to take 3 min showers and even brushing her teeth while in the shower. Apparently Al Gore has used one of the coal fired super computers housed in his megaplex to determine that 2 mins in the shower consumes as much water as an African does all day long. First off....Africa smells like a fucking zoo. I defy you to prove that there is a country on Earth that has more hippo, giraffe and gorilla shit just laying around, it is every where, people build their fucking homes out of it. The possibilities for indoor plumbing are rather limited in a shit hut......bottom line, you are nt going to improve your BO condition by getting a shit hut really wet with steamy, properly heated, shower water. Believe it or not, Africans don't really mind, they like smelling like shit and gorilla fist ash trays and the whole schmear of Africa. If they didn't like it, more than likely they would move the fuck out because the chances of Africa smelling less like shit in the near future are not improving. Think Im lying? Fly to Africa and ask ten strangers if they know what toilet paper is.

How many Africans could get a drink out of Al Gore's pool? He could fly them over on his private jet, and let them stay in his guest house. I bet they dont take shower's and there will be some goat shit in the pool afterwards.

Abortions for some

I would do a lot for a trillion dollars, wishing Barbara Bush had frigged her withered old Santa Claus twat with a white hot clothes hanger seems to be one of the more socially acceptable possibilities. If Mother Cheney had douched with Drano, you could have taken "One" of the trillions spent in Iraq and given every person in the United States of America 3333.33$, seems like such a slam dunk. I wish the CIA would fire up the time machine and we could get those two broads drunk and take them to Planned Parenthood.

Recycled Paper towels are bad

I wouldn't wipe a rat's ass with the 365 brand recycled paper towels I bought from Whole Fools market. Only a fucktarded hippie would create a small thin paper towel to conserve resources. You couldn't dry an ants dick with one of these fucking things. Correct me if I am wrong Sandy, but don't trees grow on trees? So what the fuck are you conserving? Does it matter that fewer resources go into a product when you have to use twice as much of that product to do a simple job like drying human skin?

The R-word

Is this really 2008? I just think I heard someone use the R-word instead of the proper nomenclature......RETARDED. Did Retards suddenly become self aware and less Retarded? Are consumers soon to be held over the barrel of the incredible buying power of the Retarded community if we do not fall into step with the Retard agenda? What are the true consequences of offending the Retard culture? Self awareness is one of the fundamental building blocks of being offended. If you do not understand who you are or where you are at, then how would you know if you are offended. If a Retard gets offended by a word they don't even understand, then that is one angry Retard and I would sooner know what provokes that beast so I don't make a slip and end up in the grips of its good arm. Be wary of the good arm.......Retard strength is no joke.