Being an Angel has its upside

There are a lot of reasons I am glad I was never born, aside from the fact that my ding dong was shredded like White House email when mother had me hoovered out of her vagina, I am glad I never made it to my 16th birthday and have to pay these high gas prices. However, I feel never having lived on Earth has left me out of touch with humanity and that is why I asked GOD to allow me to be among the living.

I am an aborted fetus Angel and I bring you good news, heaven needs abortions. There are not enough good people on Earth so, Jesus needs fresh babies to keep his army of Angels strong. Aside from having my head sucked through my asshole, being aborted was the best thing that has ever happened to me. When you are aborted you automatically become an Angel....that is like being voted on the All-Star team with out ever playing a game. Abortions are a hall pass to heaven. I have already met GOD and Jimmi Hendrix. I have come to Earth to spread the new gospel of abortions. I encourage all young girls to get atleast one before they graduate high school, it is like giving your fetus a winning lottery ticket.....in heaven Mother Theresa does my laundry and it is not just because she is a woman.